How Not to Suck at South Park: Phone Destroyer PvP

Hey New Kid! Yeah, we’re talking to you. You’ve probably got the hang of solo play in South Park: Phone Destroyer since the game holds your hand through a lot of it early on. But PvP battles are a different …

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Hey New Kid! Yeah, we’re talking to you.

You’ve probably got the hang of solo play in South Park: Phone Destroyer since the game holds your hand through a lot of it early on. But PvP battles are a different story, one you might not find quite as welcoming.

It’s also pretty important to get better at them because they are the key to unlocking more cards and to make the ones you already have even better. Plus, Cartman built you up to be the best person with your phone in the whole world, and you don’t want to let him down. He might run you out of South Park.

We don’t have time to give you a detailed list of card combinations or strategies or anything like that, but we can help you to at least get off on the right foot and not suck so much right away. Here’s how.

Remember the Goal

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It’s fun and probably Cartman approved to embrace you inner bully and beat the other kid into submission. But many PvP matches, especially when you are just starting out, will go the full three minutes. Each player’s health bar is divided into three segments, and all you have to do is make sure you have more segments of your bar left then the other kid when time runs out.

That concept should definitely affect your strategy. Once you have a one-segment, or even better, two-segment lead, you can focus on defense instead of offense, playing cards to protect yourself instead of going for the kill. Conversely, if you are down a segement with under a minute left, it’s time to go for broke.

Every Card You Play Matters

Yep, even the likes of Butters and Tweek. Energy is too precious to waste, so every card you play should be done with a purpose in mind.

It helps to understand the card roles:

  • Tanks – These character soak up damage, and are best used either to guard yourself for attack or to allow your characters to get closer to the enemy kid.
  • Fighters – Front-line melee troops and sort of jacks of all trades. Can be played up front or to help pick off enemies who are close to you.
  • Assassins – Quick and deadly but fragile, these are best used either to kill enemies who are closing in on you or to make a rush at the other kid when the path is clear.
  • Ranged – You should probably guess from the name, but these characters attack from afar and thus are best played further back then the very front of the skirmish.

Ideally, your PvP deck will have a nice mix of all four card types, because they all have their uses. Speaking of which …

Abilities Are Important Too

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Card abilities aren’t just helpful bonuses, but can be a big aid to you not sucking when you realize how best to put them to use. They’re also where you can take your first steps into the meta-game. Don’t be scared of that word, it’s just a natural part of the way things work.

For example, if you find yourself facing a few big enemies who are hard to take down but have a lot of your own characters out on the field, Gunslinger Kyle can boost everyone’s attack for several seconds. Play him further back and then charge everyone else up. If the opposite is true and you are facing superior numbers, Captain Wendy has her triple shot that damages the three closest foes.

There are even abilities like Marcus’ drug pillow that damage the enemy leader directly. Maker use of what you’ve got at your disposal and remember that a well-timed ability can swing the course of a match.

Make Sure to Have Some Cards That Go Right for the Other Kid

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When putting together your deck, you’ll want at least a few cards that get down to business and hurt the enemy leader so you aren’t constantly slugging it out in the middle of the board and hoping for a breakthrough. Often these cards are expensive, but they get the job done and thus are worth it.

Mimsy is a good example. He’s slow and will become the target for opposing characters, but he goes straight for the other kid and starts punching him when he gets there, and he can take a beating along the way.

Cards like Fireball are multi-taskers you can use to bail yourself out of a tight spot when enemies are closing in, but they can also be cast directly on the opposing leader to damage him or her. Make sure to always have one of these spells in your deck.

We can’t guarantee that you’ll all of a sudden become a PvP whiz by following these tips, but they should at the very least prevent you from getting kicked around in every match. Good luck!

Nick Tylwalk enjoys writing about video games, comic books, pro wrestling and other things where people are often punching each other, regaardless of what that says about him. He prefers MMOs, RPGs, strategy and sports games but can be talked into playing just about anything.