We’ll give SoccerDie: Cosmic Cup this – it’s memorable. But in the way that your team scoring a hilarious own-goal is memorable.
SoccerDie is a very simple game. And we mean simple. Your goal is to make your way through a range of top down levels, kicking a ball into the goal at the end of the pitch (or in this case, the top of the screen).
In your way are a range of obstacles and foes though, ranging from commandos armed with machine guns, mines, and tank goalkeepers.
If you take just a few hits you have to start the stage from the beginning.
So the challenge is to maintain complete control over the ball as you dribble it up the screen, but this is definitely easier said than done.
Often you can boot the ball through a set of obstacles then make your way through them yourself, whereas it’s sometimes best to keep the ball close to you as you weave your way through the waves of projectiles.
SoccerDie isn’t a hugely forgiving game however, and you’ll find yourself dying a lot. And we mean a lot.
There isn’t quite enough variety between levels to make you want to keep pushing on either, with the same enemies repeated constantly.
So ultimately you’re left with a game that doesn’t have much long-term value, even at its low price.
One thing we loved was the goofy presentation – with amusingly and deliberately poorly translated dialogue – but it’s not enough to save what is a shallow and largely unsatisfying experience.