Happy Wheels Review: A Bloody Fun Time

Happy Wheels, by title alone, sounds like a game with talking cars that sing songs together and drive under rainbows, collecting cookie coins along the way. Instead, Happy Wheels is one of the goriest games, if not the goriest game, …

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Happy Wheels, by title alone, sounds like a game with talking cars that sing songs together and drive under rainbows, collecting cookie coins along the way. Instead, Happy Wheels is one of the goriest games, if not the goriest game, that I have played on my iPad.

Now, mind you, I don’t actively seek out gory games, so those of you who are “Modern Zombie Slayer Shooter Soldier 3” veterans won’t bat an eye at Happy Wheel’s carnage, but those of you who are looking for a game to give your kids to keep them quiet while you grocery shop may want to keep on looking.

With that out of the way, Happy Wheels is a silly physics-focused game that had me chuckling at the misfortunes that the protagonist was enduring at my hands.

Happy Wheels review

The game is broken apart into level sets and each level set utilizes a different character. I can’t comment on more than the default character because he is currently the only one available. I have the feeling that additional characters will come at a price, as currently the base game is free, but with ads.

The entirety of Happy Wheels revolves around moving a guy on a Segway through gauntlet of deadly traps and to a finish line. All of the (currently) 15 levels host a different layout and plenty of surprises to catch players off-guard. The protagonist can suffer an impressive amount of bodily harm to boot, allowing players to continue their attempt long after a normal person would have passed out from the sheer shock of having their limbs ripped out.

Players even have the ability to crawl onwards, after their Segway has broken, with floppy limb controls that reminded me of QWOP. It’s all a bloody mess, but it’s ridiculous enough to where it’s just plain funny.

Happy Wheels review

After the initial surprises though, Happy Wheels quickly begins to lose its charm.

While Happy Wheels is a completely playable game, the game’s physics are still rough around the edges. About half of the reasons why I’d fail a level was because the physics engine acted up, and glitched, resulting in me obtaining some horrid injury. It is silly at first, but when you’re trying to actually accomplish something, the physics are more of an obstacle than the actual obstacles themselves.

Overall though, for a free game, Happy Wheels is worth checking out, even just for the free laughs your initial playthrough will give you. Don’t expect any deep learning curves to master, and understand that success is largely based on how much the physics engine decides it loves or hates you during that particular run, and Happy Wheels will keep you entertained through the day.

The good

  • Many laugh-out-loud moments of absurd carnage.
  • All of the levels are open from the start.

The bad

  • Physics engine is hit or miss, level to level.
70 out of 100
Former Good Morning America child star, Tom spends his time these days writing lots of things for people to read. He's a fan of independently developed video games, and always roots for the underdog. Send him animated .gifs on Twitter: @tomscott90. He likes those things