It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how savvy you happen to be about the Byrds’ musical repertoire (or if you aren’t savvy at all): When you play Go Home Dizzy, it’s impossible not to hear the song Turn! Turn! Turn! play softly in the back of your brain.
After all, Go Home Dizzy is an action / arcade game that’s all about twirling, twirling, twirling. You should join him, even if you might feel a bit nauseated yourself after dying a few times.
Dizzy is a knight who wants to go home. Problem is, his home is quite some distance away, there are skeletons everywhere, and his primary method of movement is to spin around and around.
It’s insinuated that Dizzy is pretty drunk, but let’s not jump to conclusions. He might just have an inner ear problem, the poor dear.
There isn’t a whole lot you can do to assume direct control over Dizzy. When you let him be, he constantly spins in a counter-clockwise direction. He holds his sword out as he spins, and anything that comes into contact with it is subsequently chopped up like a head of lettuce in a food processor.
There are tons of things to cut up on the battlefield, mostly creatures of the bony persuasion. A constant barrage of skeletons charges at Dizzy from the top of the screen, intent on foiling his plans to reach home sweet home.
The foes have a sinister variety of attacks. They move at brisk speeds, fling projectiles, hold out axes on either side of their person (looking for all the world like killer skeletons that want to give you a biiiiig hug), and sometimes do a little sword-spinning of their own.
When you tap the screen, Dizzy stops spinning for a second and thrusts forth, weapon out. Wherever he’s pointing, that’s the direction he goes in. Between the auto-scrolling levels and the relentless enemy forces (many of whom move erratically), getting Dizzy to hit enemies without being whacked himself is challenging.
You can make your journey a bit easier by holding down on the screen to make Dizzy stop spinning for a little bit; he then darts forth with a powerful attack as soon as you lift your finger. You can also find blacksmiths and ale barrels that increase the speed and range of your weapon, as well as grant you vital life boosts.
Go Home Dizzy is simple dumb fun. Busting through skeletons feels good for a few minutes at a time, though the game’s lack of permanent upgrades (outside of its hard-to-achieve quests) doesn’t give you much of a reason to stick around. When you die, any weapon and life upgrades you fought for until that point die along with you.
Needless to say, getting knocked back to the very start of the skeleton barrage with your basic equipment sucks. It’d be nice to keep at least some of your upgrades after death. Even a drunkard needs to feel good about their achievements.
Despite its frustrations, Go Home Dizzy’s brand of twirly-twirly stabby-stabby gameplay is unique, nutty, and full of good times. Give it a whirl.