I hope you’ve mentally prepared yourself for the mountain of games hitting the App Store tonight. In the off chance that you haven’t, you should probably close your eyes and take care of that right now. I’ll wait.

All done yet? I hope so, because I’m about to share quite the awesome list of forthcoming releases with you. And the very best part is that you won’t have to wait long to play them! All of these games are scheduled to hit the App Store later tonight, meaning you should probably forgo sleep and play them all instead. It would be the adult thing to do.


Joe Danger – Joe Danger is one adventurous guy. Not only does he pull off death-defying stunts on a regular basis, but he does so on a handful of different platforms. He started on PS3 before making his way to 360, and now he’s finally wheeled himself over to iOS. What’s next? The Virtual Boy?


Take My Machete – We could argue for hours about whether or not aliens are real, but let’s focus instead on something we can all agree on: if they exist, you could totally defeat them with a machete. In fact, that’s exactly what you’ll do in the aptly-named Take My Machete, a 2D side-scroller featuring extraterrestrials, guitars, and lots of sharp objects.


Death Golf – I don’t want to speak too prematurely, but Death Golf might have the best name of any game in 2013 – not to mention one of the coolest concepts. You hit the golf ball in the same way you would in any other game, and then fight your way across a dangerous course filled with animals and obstacles. Why can’t real sports be this awesome?


Time Surfer – Surfing is kind of cool. But surfing through time and space? Now that could only be described as mega-cool. And that’s precisely what you do in Time Surfer, an endless runner that lets you fly ultra fast across hilly terrains. And should you make a mistake (nobody’s perfect), you can rewind time and fix it. Or you can just ignore all that and stare at the amazing character known as “Robo Duck.”