Developer Playgendary seems to hate cute things: their destroy-’em-up, Hand of God, saw adorable monsters being endlessly attacked by tanks, police cars, and angry citizens. Bowmasters pits sweet cat ladies and wide-eyed aliens against one another in flesh-ripping archery competitions. And their upcoming title, Despicable Bear, will let players tear apart their childhood teddy with a shockingly deadly arsenal of weaponry. Despite our personal affinity for all things cute, we’re kind of enjoying this war on adorableness.
Unlike their other cute-killers, Despicable Bear appears to be more of a playful stress reliever than a game with a specific goal. Of course, knowing Playgendary and their history of unlockables and collectibles, there will almost certainly be plenty of things to work toward. The core gameplay is simply beating up a tennis-shoed teddy bear with attitude who appears to have committed little more offense than wearing a letterman jacket with no pants. Players will be able to electrocute, laser-zap, blow up, and even tornado the bear as he dances about his back-alley home and occasionally attempts to sleep off your painful interactions.
Based on the first-person viewpoint and Despicable Bear’s interaction with the player—including “breaking” the screen of your device in retaliation—the game almost seems like a twisted take on a pet simulator.
…If you and your pet shared a mutual hatred and you kept trying to nuke it into oblivion. We’ll know more once we get a chance to hammer his cute little face off when Despicable Bear launches in about two weeks.