It was just this past Friday that we reported on Rovio’s tantalizing teaser for an upcoming announcement in New York City. An announcement happening seven hours from now, involving Toys’R’Us and Star Wars. Thanks to the crack investigative journalism of the Gamezebo news team, and a stolen time machine, we’ve managed to uncover the details of Angry Birds’ next merchandising move. Wait, what? This just in: I’m getting word it wasn’t a time machine that helped us…it was the internet. 

Thanks to the snooping and research efforts of toy and game blog Idle Hands, much of Rovio’s upcoming Star Wars-themed merchandise has been uncovered. Keep in mind that we have no guarantee this represents the complete list, though we’ll be sure to have someone on hand with the time-machiner–err, internet–when the company makes the official announcement. In the mean time, here’s a sampling of what you an look forward to, or dread, this holiday season:

 

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  • Galactic Angry Birds Plushies: We very much called this one in our original article, including the use of the series’ pigs as Sith characters. I’m not even a little bit afraid to admit I find the mops of hair hilarious; also, I may want that Chewbacca bird. 

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  • Star Wars / Angry Birds At-At Attack Battle Game: I’m not quite sure how this one will be played, but it involves a replica At-At, and that’s honestly enough for me. The crux of the experience seems to revolve around launching bird figurines at the massive drone as it fires pig figurines back. Of very important note: An R2-D2 egg!

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  • Jenga: Angry Birds Death Star Edition: In years gone by, Jenga has moved further and further away from the simple “stack till’ it drops” pastime it once was, with things like the climbable Donkey Kong edition. Now, Rovio’s here to help it ascend even higher out of the realm of possibility, as you work to…assemble a pig-shaped Death Star, and fire birds at it? Don’t ask. 

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  • Star Wars / Angry Birds Halloween Costumes: I will let these horrifying, horrifying images speak for themselves. 

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  • Early Angry Birds Figurines: Modelled after the original randomized Star Wars “Early Bird” figure packs, these collectibles embody the newly branded heroes of the galaxy, including Chewbirdca, and R2-E(gg)2. And you wonder why Rovio doesn’t hire me for the naming. 

All images credited to Idle Hands.