Hope you’re not allergic to bullets

I like shoot ’em ups quite a bit, but rare are the days when I play one for more than 10 minutes before cursing at it and quitting (I’m looking at you, Ikaruga). They have a tendency to be profoundly demanding and difficult —  ironically the two ingredients that keep most diehard fans coming back. You’d think A Space Shooter Blitz, a shoot ’em up coming to Facebook (and iOS and Android) on September 20, would dial things down a bit for the so-called casual audience, but that’s not the case. In fact, developer Frima Studios is tagging it as a “bullet hell” title. I should probably brace myself for the yelling of curse words.

I know precious little about Commander P. Jefferson — the game’s protagonist — but his facial hair leads me to assume he’s a pretty cool guy. He also has a hatred of aliens, and that’s exactly why he’s flying around in space and trying to shoot as many as he can. Well, to be fair, he could just be doing it because he’s a sucker for high scores. You see, the more enemies you shoot without getting hit, the higher the score multiplier goes.

A Space Shooter Blitz

And given the cross-platform connectivity at play, as well as the emphasis on sharing leaderboards with friends and other players, shooting the most aliens you possibly can is in your best interest. It sounds kind of evil, in a way, but the aliens are firing at you as well. All’s fair in love and war.

Despite the fairly modern addition of leaderboards, A Space Shooter Blitz promises to have “retro arcade mechanics,” which I can only assume means it’s going to ask you to physically stuff quarters into your iPhone or computer until your mom says it’s time to leave and you keep telling her that you’re going to get the high score this time, you’re sure of it, and that if you do you’ll be the coolest kid at the arcade. Sorry, random flashback. But the point remains: this game is as much a celebration of the olden days as it is of where we’re at now.

A Space Shooter Blitz

Whether you’re a diehard or casual fan of the shoot ’em up genre, it seems like A Space Shooter Blitz will have plenty to offer. And if you just plain hate aliens, well, here’s your chance to shoot at some pixelated ones. I hope it’s cathartic.