Sushi is serious business

I like to think that an understanding of Japanese culture isn’t crucial to identifying what makes Sumo wrestling so great. It’s two heavier set dudes struggling to push each other out of a ring — surely that concept defies borders. But just in case it doesn’t, Frima Studios’ Rock Paper Sumo has made it a bit more palatable by merging it with an activity many of us know all too well: rock-paper-scissors.

What a strange marriage of ideas, right? And to make matters more bizarre, the game tells the story of an evil Sumo lord — called Skinny Shu — who takes control of the land and forbids the consumption of sushi. Unlucky for him, you’re on a mission to rise to the top of the rock-paper-scissors circuit and take him out. I don’t exactly know how winning at rock-paper-scissors will bring sushi back to the world, but I can only hope the answer makes as little sense as the rest of the plot does.

Rock Paper Sumo

If absurd story modes aren’t your speed, there will also be an online multiplayer mode where players can challenge friends and prove themselves the champions of rock-paper-scissors. That’s decidedly more epic than what the activity is most commonly used for: deciding who gets to sit in the front seat of the car.

If you’re going to fight your way to the top, you may as well look good doing it. The game will feature over 200 different accessories for players to decorate their sumo proxies with, making the virtual world of Rock Paper Sumo their highly-customizable oyster. Wait, are oysters forbidden as well? I hope not.

Rock Paper Sumo

A release date hasn’t been announced yet, so be sure to follow the game here on Gamezebo for future info on when it will be hitting Facebook. And if you didn’t walk away from this preview with a powerful craving for sushi, then you are some kind of monster.