I’m the last person who’d want to borrow words from a company’s press release, but I’m pretty sure nothing sums up Robot Unicorn Attack more accurately than this; “In our new game Robot Unicorn Attack you are a majestic, robotic unicorn smashing your way through a fantasy landscape to the sounds of Erasure’s 1994 synth-pop masterpiece Always.” We’ll understand if you don’t need to read the rest of this review. Just come back after you’ve played the game.

Still with us? Hrmm. Surprising. Maybe you missed the part about the robot unicorn smashing a fantasy landscape to the sounds of Erasure? Well, no matter. I suppose you need us to tell you a little bit more about just how awesome this game really is. We’re happy to oblige.

Robot Unicorn Attack is a two button surivival platform game that, despite its eccentric presentation, seems to be heavily inspired by Canabalt. You’ll control a robot unicorn that is constantly running. Rather than controlling speed or direction, you’ll be in charge of the unicorns jumping and combat abilities. Jumping is done by pressing Z and dashing, which causes the unicorn the unicorn to turn into a rainbow blur of destruction, is done by pressing X.

The robot unicorn can cover a lot of ground with his jumps and can even double jump if you press the Z key twice. Unlike Canabalt though, the unicorn’s speed never seems to increase, nor are there objects that can help you slow down. Speed just doesn’t play a factor here – a strange choice for a game such as this. Robot Unicorn Attack really involves little more than smashing stars and jumping from platform to platform. You’ll have three attempts to get as far as you can, with your final score being a total of all three.

Robot Unicorn Attack

Ok, we’ll admit it – the gameplay has less variety and less to offer than similar games on the market. But at the end of the day Robot Unicorn Attack is less about original gameplay and more about playing as a robot unicorn smashing your way through a fantasy landscape to the sounds of Erasure’s 1994 synth-pop masterpiece Always. Seriously – how could anyone not want to play this?? Sure the gameplay is lacking, but this game is all about presentation – and the presentation here is rock solid.

That’s not to say we’re talking about a graphical powerhouse – if anything the look of the game seems intentionally underwhelming. Almost as if to say “it’s a robot unicorn, what else do you want??” Purple grass grows on every platform. Big shiny stars are waiting to be smashed through. Every time your unicorn jumps a rainbow forms behind him. His mane, too, is made of rainbows.

The entire presentation is made of 6-year-old girl win, and we loved every second of it. Even the thumping of Erasure’s “Always” managed to capture the spirit of a world filled with unicorns. Bonus points to the intentionally low-quality audio used for the song – I can’t put my finger on how, but it somehow made the whole experience feel like a VHS copy of a little girls unicorn movie come to life.

It’s silly, it’s eccentric, and it’s far from the best game in its genre in terms of gameplay – but that doesn’t mean we didn’t fall for its charms. Adult Swim Games is responsible for some of the most memorable web games out there, and Robot Unicorn Attack is no different. Enough talk. It’s time to get lost in a world of rainbows.